You know her. The girl who shines like the sun.
Her smile is contagious. Her love is pure. Her eyes glisten with joy. She comes into a room and immediately cheers everyone up. She radiates love everywhere she goes. She is always positive and hopeful. She helps people, she loves purely, and she laughs with her heart.
She is the light at the end of the tunnel.
But then somehow, most of the time she ends up with people who clearly don’t deserve her unconditional love. She falls in love with men who search for people like her and take their love for granted. She falls into their web of lies and with time… she loses her shine.
You can feel that she is no longer the same person that she once was. You can feel it in her smile. She is not having a bad day. She is having a bad relationship. But she doesn’t admit it.
She assures you that you have no reason to worry about her situation. “You just don’t know him as I do,” she says. But that doesn’t convince you. The question cannot seem to leave your mind. Why is she with him? Why does she try?
Because she is optimistic. She doesn’t leave because she believes in love. Yes, that is her blessing, but that’s also her curse. Her optimism. Her hopes that her love can change this person. Her beliefs that love does indeed conquer all.
Sadly, the reality is often very different. The toxic partner who claims that he loves her knows how to deal with people like her. He knows that she would do anything to stay with him. So, he uses her optimism to mess with her mind. She cannot see his real intentions because she is blinded by her love for him.
And that is how optimistic and loving women waste their precious lives on people who are not worth it. These women continue to believe that hard work and patience will eventually save their relationship. They don’t give up easily and stick when things get tough. No matter how hard and dark it is, they always find the silver lining. But somewhere down the line, they forget to take care of themselves. That is how they usually get stuck in bad relationships and put up with being treated like they are less.
They are always the ones who are willing to work on themselves so they can help save the relationship that they are in. Always the ones who make changes, explore their moods, see therapists, check to make sure if they are needy, rethink their actions, analyze their words… These women do all of this and more except one simple thing… Walk away when there is nothing left to hold onto.
It is a truly sick and twisted dance in which the optimistic, loving woman is giving all her efforts to make things work and the toxic partner is telling her that what she does is not enough.
But that’s what their optimism and loving heart urge them to do.
Anyone who has loved a toxic partner will tell you that accepting the reality and seeing the truth can sometimes be truly devastating. Not many people have the strength to endure that. This is one of the reasons why these women usually go through these experiences. They think that their optimism can protect them. When in fact, it hurts them even more.
However, as an optimistic, experienced woman myself, I believe there is a silver lining for these beautiful human beings. After all, having that kind of traits in a grim world like ours is a truly incredible gift. The thing is, not every person realizes that these qualities are too precious to manipulate.