One of the biggest steps you can take in life is when you decide to step out of a relationship that has been mentally and emotionally draining. There would have been days in your past when you wanted to leave everything behind and walk away at once. And there would have been others where you believed you could work things through and make it okay. And there would have always been people advising you to do the right thing. But you are the only one to decide what is right for you. And you have chosen yourself and your peace over an unhappy or toxic relationship. This is incredibly brave of you—to put yourself first even as you see people cast an eye of judgement or hear them call you selfish.
If you have chosen to leave behind a relationship this year, let’s admit that facing the new year may not be easy. While you might be relieved at some level, you might also be worried about starting over alone. But here are a few things to keep in mind, strong woman.
There will be people who question your decision, but remind yourself that you did the right thing.
People often wrongfully equate being in a relationship with having a certain social status. Many people believe that there are certain milestones to reach by a certain age. But nothing can be farther from the truth. A relationship is right only if it nurtures you and makes you be your best self. Being in an unhealthy relationship can put your physical and mental health at risk. So do not pay heed to those who question your decision.
This time around, as you will bask in your new-found glory, they will come you inject negativity in your life by trying to make you believe that you are selfish or that you are not the epitome of femininity but you know what? They might just be envious of your stride. The more they try to criticize you, understand that you have done the right thing by standing up for yourself.
You will miss having someone beside you, and that’s okay.
We are, after all, social creatures who seek solace in human warmth. So there will be days when you will want someone you make you feel beautiful or supported. You will, sometimes, be scared of the uncertainty of the future. But when doubts creep in your mind, remind yourself what had made you take this decision in the first place. Find a friend in yourself, start enjoying your own company and you will always have someone dependable in your life. It’s is okay to miss someone and yet not want them in your life anymore. This doesn’t make you weak, it makes you human.
You might feel you will never find love again, but trust life to guide you.
As you start to respect your demands and desires, you will realize that society prefers conformist women. But now you are far from conforming to anyone or anything. You have now become more aware of your emotional and mental needs and you will not want to compromise on that. Therefore, it might seem sometimes, that finding love again is not possible because your experiences tell you that love depends on the intensity and frequency of compromises. However, you never know what awaits you. A while ago, you could not have imagined yourself being the boss of your life, but here you are. Life happens, at its pace and at the right time. Your qualities are precious and only a strong person could cherish them and understand their value. Have faith! Life sometimes knows us better than we know ourselves.
You might feel too old to start over, but love has no age.
The spark of love is undeniable. At the end of the day, all of us yearn to be loved for who we are. Now that you have closed one chapter, you have cleared space for something new and nourishing to enter. Now you are stronger and wiser and know your worth. Take time to take care of yourself. Enjoy life as a lone traveller. Savor the little moments. Connect with friends and family that matter. Soon, the positive energy and joy will attract the right people, circumstances, and opportunity. You might feel that love is not for someone like you who has seen a lot and matured through all of it. But remember, love has no expiry date or age. It can knock on your door any time, any day. You never know, somewhere in your world, there is someone who is waiting for you to complete them.
You will learn that the only person you can rely on is you.
As you went through one of the toughest times in your life, you have seen the true faces of most of the people who you thought were trustworthy. As you leave behind your old life, you will also leave those who did not believe in you when you needed it the most. The dark time that tested your mental and emotional prowess in its fullest potential has, however, made you realize that there is only one person you can rely on – yourself! You consoled yourself all the nights you suffered from self-doubt, you celebrated your strength when you finally decided to move on, and you know you will always have your back should there be any similar circumstance in the future.
You will find the few friends and family who have your back.
No! You will not end up alone. Who says soulmates appear only in the form of spouses or partners? There are many kindred souls around, if only you learn to recognize them. There is a dire need in the world for people with qualities of healing themselves and others. You will come across people who will celebrate your being and draw inspiration from your story. They will also become a part of your life and it will not be a need-based bond. The new bonds you make will be based on respect, admiration, and support for each other’s opinions and ways of life. Together you will make your life wonderful and set the right examples of love and relationships.
Disclaimer: This article is based on insights from different sources. The views expressed here are those of the writer.