Virtually every person you talk to has a different opinion about how to tell if the person you’re with is truly the love of your life. For some people, it’s how well you get on; how the chemistry feels between you. Others will say that it’s all about the sex, or what kind of a friendship you have underneath all of the romance.
Perhaps the most common thing that people say to you when you’re young and confused by love is that you’ll ‘just know’ when you’re with the person who you’re supposed to spend the rest of your life with. They say that you will have an overwhelming feeling that cues you in as to how special that person is, and you’ll know deep in your heart that you’ll be together forever. This is perhaps the most confusing of all, because as every person who felt deeply in love with someone and lost them understands, that feeling of ‘just knowing’ isn’t always reliable.
So, how can you tell if someone is really the love of your life, or just another passing face who you’ll love for a time and then part ways with? Well, I’ll tell you.
It’s not the person who you think ticks every box on your list. It’s not the person who makes you laugh all the time, or who tells you that you’re soulmates. While these are all great signs, they’re not enough for you to be sure.
The love of your life is the one who enables you to become the best version of yourself possible. It’s the person who builds you up, who trusts you to be you, who supports you unconditionally. It’s the person who’s always honest with you, even when it hurts. It’s the person who recognizes the flaws in both of you, and is committed to the relationship anyway.
The love of your life is the person whose support for you never falters, no matter how choppy the seas get. They always believe in you, even when you don’t believe in yourself. They have your back through thick and thin, and inspire you to better yourself not for their sake, but for yours.
The love of your life is the person who doesn’t cling too tightly to you; not because they don’t love you, but because they know that in order to truly love someone, you have to be prepared to let them go. They know how important it is to be able to grow and flourish as a person, and they never want to hold you back from fulfilling your true potential. They want you to be happy, above anything else. And it’s precisely this mindset that allows you to stay together no matter what – because they’re real with you. Their love isn’t selfish. It isn’t for their own sake. It is pure, it is genuine, and it is true.