If I had a dollar for every heated/absolutely mental argument I have had over text this last year…I would honestly have Oprah status by the looks of my bank account.
Let me start by saying this: I consider myself to be a rather calm and collected individual.
Little would I know that texting will get the best of me in such a sneaky way?
Looking at my phone right now, honestly, I think it should be baptized.
Putting my well-crafted (and honestly tedious) sarcasm aside, I would like to invite you to delve into the apocalypse that texting has become, uncovering the 5 stages of ruining your relationships through texting.
Stage 1: The need for attention
Social media has turned us into people in need of attention (even more than before). However, this is not necessarily a critique, so to speak. It is understandable to be quite honest. All of us now have a gadget in our hands which enables us to be connected to everybody we know constantly. So, while having this opportunity, we subconsciously presume that we can have people’s attention at any given time. And while this may indeed be true, it is humanly impossible to sustain all your interpersonal relationships in a healthy manner at this speed. I am putting an emphasis on this matter, as I think this is the basis upon which the miscommunication is built.
Stage 2: Feeling left out
Now, in terms of intimate relationships or friendships, you tend to feel left out or isolated when you don’t spend as much time as you would subconsciously like with that said person online. There is a certain type of clinginess we feel more prominently. This is due to the fact that we feel entitled to people’s time. While this might sound harsh or laughable to some, we are all guilty of doing this at varying degrees. This is not to say that everyone has suddenly become stalker level obsessive, but we do expect more from texting than we can actually get out from it.
Stage 3: You are glued to your phone
Naturally, the main issue we face as society becomes obvious- being glued to our phones. You know, when you are not careful while crossing the street or just blatantly ignore all the people at your family reunion. It becomes a disease of sorts because you feel a constant need to communicate- to your boyfriend/girlfriend or best friend(s). In my opinion, that puts a strain on the various relationships, as texting robs of the quality time that could be spent face-to-face. Therefore, without even realizing it, we become a bit more socially awkward, while expecting virtual validation all of the time. Those expectations lead to misunderstandings and disappointment at the end.
Stage 4: Not intimate enough
Our phones get the best of us because we are fooling ourselves into believing that they make us closer. That is not true in the slightest. It’s actually quite the opposite. Texting more often than not takes away from the natural way we typically tend to converse with each other. All of a sudden it has come down to pondering about why the certain person is not responding right away, why is he/she using THAT emoji (is this passive-aggressive?) and why did he/she put that full stop, are they mad at me? Because of this, we get the sense that we do not get along with that person well, we start wondering why we have issues. Namely, because it does not feel intimate enough.
Stage 5: Heated arguments over text
With all the predispositions mentioned above, one could tell that an argument over text would be a total catastrophe. It obviously depends on the people involved, however, miscommunication does occur without a doubt. The funny thing is that people could start an argument from the most trivial or unimportant things. Something that might not even be considered a problem or inconvenience now becomes the reason for World War III to explode in your face. The most common triggers are the use of specific wording or phrases that are taken out of context and people ‘picturing’ in their head how something is said (the tone of voice!). Due to those factors, people tend to get more aggressive and offend in an unnecessary way. This has the potential to ruin a relationship.
You can, therefore, imagine why an argument via text could last for hours or days on end. An argument that in real life most probably would not have existed. One can safely say that nothing can substitute real-life, face-to-face communication. Not even phone calls are as sufficient as interaction in the physical world.
However, it is a better way of communication than texting.
It leaves less room for confusion, misunderstanding, and disappointment.