When you lose someone you dearly care about, one thing that can help through the grieving process is having someone supportive at your side. For this woman, who was grieving the loss of her beloved uncle, it was bad enough that she didn’t find any solace in her in-laws, but things were made a whole lot worse when they were completely insensitive to what she was going through.
Sharing her experience on Reddit, the woman wrote, “My uncle passed away on October 6th and his funeral was on the 19th. I had to travel to the funeral and I was gone for 4 days. I also live with my in laws. My husband’s family has not said anything to me. No , I’m sorry for your loss etc.”
If a person does not have nice things to say, you would hope that they would at least not say anything at all. However, as the woman was talking about the burial service, she got in return the most heartless response from her mother-in-law. “I was telling my MIL when I got back about how fancy/beautiful my uncle’s service was and the first thing out of her stupid mouth is…. did your uncle leave you any money!!!!”
Taken aback by the question, the woman had nothing to say. “You don’t ask someone who is grieving that,” she wrote.
But that was not the end of it. The woman was able to get a deeper sense of just how inconsiderate the mother-in-law could be. “We’re catholic, so you’re supposed to pray for the deceased for 9 days after their funeral,” the woman went on to say. “My husband’s aunt helped me arrange a mass for my uncle, and my in laws did not go. My mother in law knew I was setting up a mass and she liked my Facebook post about the mass.”
While several people showed up, the in-laws did not. But what’s worse is the woman’s mother-in-law went on to blame the woman and her husband for it. “Tonight, she tried to apologize saying that she didn’t remember about the mass until it was over, that she messages my husband, and then blamed us for not reminding her. Even my husband’s deaf 77 year old grandma remembered abiout the mass. I just stayed quiet and did not respond to her.”
Along with her grief, the woman was frustrated about how her mother-in-law only added to her problems instead of being empathetic of what she was going through. “My husband’s family has no emotional skills, but my MIL is the worse and says stupid s**t all the time. My uncle did leave me a house in Mexico, but I would never tell my money hungry MIL,” the woman wrote. “I’d rather have my uncle around. It’s just been really difficult living with my MIL. I come from a family that comforts each other and I don’t live close to my family.”
This isn’t the only instance where a woman felt like their mother-in-law was unbearable or making outrageous demands. While there are some mother-in-laws are extremely empathetic, caring and loving, others can be clingy or unempathetic. One woman had shared her wedding horror when her mother-inlaw wanted to ban her disabled father from attending the wedding and giving his daughter away because she thought he might “traumatize” guests.
There was one time when a bride turned furious because her mother-in-law arrived at the wedding in a white gown, almost stealing the thunder away from her.