Love isn’t just about making promises or sharing romantic moments. It’s also about being able to cherish your partner just the way they are, without wanting to change a thing about them. After believing that she had found the perfect man for her, one woman was enraged by the inconsiderate expectations that her husband had started to make.
For most of her life, she admits she believed her body and her looks weren’t things that she could be proud of. “Growing up, I was fairly comfortable with my looks. I couldn’t call myself ugly, but I never considered myself pretty either. I was just average, nothing to see. Mediocre,” the woman wrote in her story, published on Love What Matters. “I think it was around middle school where I became hyperaware of my body image. Suddenly, girls had boobs and I didn’t. Girls had long legs and I didn’t. Clear skin and, you guessed it, I didn’t. Boys liked certain things, others not. Girls flaunted things I didn’t have. I just couldn’t compare.”
“Suddenly, my image, something I never thought too much about, was the pinnacle of my worth.” People were quick to point out her flaws, telling her things like “your eyes are too big” and “why do you have teenager bumps on your forehand?”
“I’d carry comments like this, and the dozens of others, with me until adolescence and beyond. Unfortunately, low self-esteem is not an easy thing to conquer,” she wrote.
When her husband-to-be walked into her life that she started getting compliments like “beautiful” and “pretty” from him and they quickly fell for each other. “Things moved pretty quickly between us and within a year of dating we moved out to LA to start our life together,” she said.
She noticed that he “idolized” certain women celebrities for their beauty, saying, “I never let it bother me. It was just mindless adoration. Until the comments started. ‘Babe, do you think you would ever get surgery?’
‘Your face would look so cute if your lips were a little more plump. See, like hers.'”
She laughed it off, thinking he was joking but could later see that he was closely watching her and waiting for an answer. After months of not talking about it, she found that he would start bringing it up again in conversations. She said, “At one point, this man had me contemplating breast implants. He knew it was something I had already considered in the past on and off again and I believe he was using it to his advantage. Then, again, the subject died down. I told him I absolutely DID NOT want them and that was my final choice.”
Eventually, the two of them got married and things seemed to be going really well for the couple as they “talked about our biggest fears, traumas, and our future goals. He was the perfect guy, or so it seemed.”
It was on her 27th birthday that her husband did something that crossed the line. The woman went on to say, “He took me into the storage closet of our tiny LA apartment. ‘Surprise!’ he said. He pulled out a white envelope, the words ‘I love you!’ etched in ink across the top. I was surprised, and really didn’t know what it could be, other than a cute card. ‘Open it,’ he said, gesturing towards the envelope.”
But it wasn’t a card that she found inside. “Inside I found cold, hard cash. Literally hundreds of dollars. ‘I saved it. For your new boobs!’ I literally felt rage take over my body. He looked at me, puzzled. ‘What? You’re really not going to get breast implants for me? After all I’ve done for you?!’ And just like that, my marriage was dead. Done. Those few words were all it took,” the woman said.
That moment was enough for her to realize that she was done with her marriage, saying, “I decided I didn’t want to be with a man who pressured me to change my image for him. I love and care about myself too much to do that.”
She made up her mind to leave and was ready to walk out on their marriage. After she told her husband her final goodbye, she found him absurdly say, “Come back. You could just get lip fillers instead!”
After hearing that, she said, “I literally laughed, rolled my suitcase to the LA International Airport, cried to my mom, got over it, and am now thriving.”
Knowing that even in the name of love, no woman should be asked to do something they aren’t ready to do, the woman gave one final message saying, “Ladies, never surgically alter your appearance for a man’s affection. You’re beautiful the way you are!!! And if you do choose to get surgery, that is okay too. Just make sure that it’s YOUR decision.”