Yes, you can say that I am a bitch because I stand up for myself. If raising my voice and fighting for my rights make me a bitch, then I am glad to be one. I won’t stay silent when someone betrays me or tries to make a fool out of me.
I don’t have a problem to cut out people from my life who are toxic to me and who crossed my boundaries because I respect myself. I neither have time nor energy to deal with other people’s bullshit, so pardon me but you won’t see me settle.
Yes, you can say that I am a bitch because my kindness and love are things that you must first earn from me. I won’t be nice and polite to you if you speak down on me and look at me in a nasty way. I will return the blow. I won’t fake a smile around you if I know that you don’t like me. I won’t try to make you feel good when you’ve already made me feel bad.
My silence can sometimes come across as arrogance and my loud nature can come across as me trying to be cocky, but that’s not true. It’s easy to misjudge someone you don’t know anything about. It’s not so easy to get closer to people and try to connect with them on a deeper level because that inquires a level of maturity and vulnerability – something which not many people have.
I may look like I don’t give a damn about anybody, but the reality is that I have a big heart and I care a lot about the people close to me. I am very sensitive and I get easily hurt, therefore I always have my guard up.
Of course, you won’t see this side of me until you really connect with me and get to know me. I am someone that comes off intense at first, but you’ll see that I am a very understanding and open-minded person. The kind of person who will sit with you for hours and listen to you with eagerness and passion. Someone who will never judge you or make you feel insecure about your silly decisions and mistakes.
Some say I am cold and heartless, but that’s because there are people, friends, and family members with whom I cut the cords because they were toxic to me. And I didn’t leave them just like that. I gave them hundreds of chances until I couldn’t take it anymore because I was hurting myself.
I still miss them and I still love them, but I made my decision to focus on myself and love myself more. So, I walked away from anyone that was inflicting pain to my heart. If that makes me a bitch, so be it!
If not wearing my heart on the sleeve makes me look like a bitch, then okay. Call me a bitch. But you should know that my egotistical and arrogant attitude is only an act; a surviving mechanism to protect myself from pain.