Sometimes the truth can be a tough pill to swallow, but it’s better to face the facts and accept reality than to drag yourself on with false hope and excuses, dreaming of a future that will never come true.
If he really wanted you, he’d be with you.
If he genuinely wanted you in his life, as his partner, as his future wife, then he’d make you a priority. He’d treat you with respect and devotion, not indifference. He’d go out of his way to show you how much you mean to him and how you’re always on his mind – not make you an afterthought. If he’s not showing you he wants you in his life, telling you he wants to be with you, then it’s time to give up on the dream and to start the process of moving on. It’s better to rip the band-aid off quickly than to peel it off slowly. You’ll only end up hurting more in the long run.
So many women make the mistake of hanging on, of dreaming of a second chance or a change of heart or mind. They sit and pine for weeks or months, wishing he’d come back to them, wishing he’d see how good they could be together and what they could have. The harsh truth is that if he wanted to be with them, he would. If he’s ever going to come back, then it will happen regardless of how much time you spend chasing him or hoping for him to change his mind. If they don’t want to be with you, let them go.
Sometimes it can be harder to let go than others. If he’s an asshole, or manipulative, or childish, it’s much easier to wrap your head around the thought of being without him. But when he’s a genuinely good guy, who only wants the best for both of you and is trying his best to do the right thing, it’s a whole other story. It often hurts that much more knowing what a great guy he is and how good you could be for each other. No matter how much you love him, or how much he tells you he loves you; No matter how much fun you had together, how well he treated you, or how many nights you spent lying awake and talking or laughing together until the sun came up, he doesn’t want to be with you. And that’s okay, because one day you’ll find someone who does – but it’s not him.
We often try to tell ourselves during a breakup that it’s not the end. It’s normal to try and reassure yourself, to tell yourself that he needs space, and that given time he’ll change his mind, or that all you need to do is convince him or make him see things from a different perspective and he’ll come around. It’s usually not that simple, however. If he doesn’t know in his heart, just as strongly as you do, that he wants you in his life, then it’s not meant to be.
Many women seem to make the mistake of believing that their partner should be the core component of their life, something that the rest of their existence is built around. Live your life for you. Learn to be enough for yourself, and to be comfortable with and happy in your own company. You’ll find that true love happens when you stop searching for it and become enough for yourself. Let him go, move on, and live life for yourself. You don’t need anyone. You will find someone, the right person, when the time is right.