It’s 3 am on a Sunday and you miss them more than anything. I know how that feels. I’ve been there. Right where you are right now. I’ve had my mind wander to the corners of my soul that still remind me of you. To places that are truly painful for me to revisit after what happened. I’ve felt my heart craving your touch and your warm, comforting kiss.
There are times when you feel like you’ve forgotten what it means to truly be happy. There are days when you cannot find a reason to smile, no matter how hard you try. I’ve felt that too. And to be completely honest with you, it took me a long time to overcome the pain inside of me.
But you know what helped me survive?
After a long, long time of torturing myself and blaming others for my happiness (misery), I realized that I’ve only got myself (to blame) and that is the only thing that matters.
The truth is, love is sweet, and it is truly one of the most important experiences in life, but sometimes love can also hurt. The only thing that you need to remember in those moments is that you are the only person that can truly hug yourself and make the pain go away.
This thought is terrifying but on the other hand, it is very comforting. Because even though it sounds like you will forever be alone, it gives you the gentle reminder that no matter what happens, you are the only person that you can truly rely on without getting yourself hurt.
Look at it this way. You bring something to the table. That is the sole reason you are still here. Just think of all your life. The fact that you are standing here today tells you more than you need to know. You are alive and well because you’ve been strong enough to face all of the obstacles on your path, survive them and witness the dawn of yet another day. You are the reason that you wake up in the morning and keep moving forward.
So, why are you so hard on yourself?
Why do you punish yourself by dwelling on all those memories that only crush your soul every time you recall them?
If anything, you should let them serve as a lesson. A lesson that you have to learn in order to grow and eventually become strong enough to face the rest of life’s challenges.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you are the only reason your life is the way it is. It’s not your ex because they broke your heart, nor your friends because they backstabbed you when you least expected. It is you because you’ve let them hurt you and you are still letting the fading memory of them hurt you.
You have to find a way to get yourself out of that dark maze without expecting someone to do that for you because chances are, no one is going to give a damn about your feelings.
You have to find the strength within you and realize that you and only you control what happens to you. Even when you experience something that makes you feel like you are helpless. It is your response to the situation that defines your strength. As long as you know that it is your response that matters more than the situation itself, you will be fine.
So, instead of dwelling on all those painful memories, focus on yourself. On the present moment, on your inner growth, on your knowledge, on all of those things that you’d wish to accomplish. On your energy, on your behavior, on your happiness… On improving your life.
Life is about learning and growing, but sometimes it is also about losing things that matter to us. It is hard to accept this bitter truth, but it is something we must all do. That is how we become stronger and wiser.
Allow yourself to feel everything that flows through you, accept those feelings and then let go of them. Heal. Learn. Grow. Fly. Love.