Emotional scars of our childhood are some of the deepest that we endure and rarely leave us, even after repeated trying. Not just that, these scars have a very damaging impact on our present and future as well. One of Hollywood’s leading ladies, Halle Berry is also a victim of childhood scars which she still struggles to deal with.
On multiple occasions, Berry has spoken about her traumatic childhood and how “damaging” her parents’ violent relationship was to her as a child. “I saw my mother battered and beaten many years of my life and I felt helpless,” she once said, reports PEOPLE.
She added, “I’m a victim of domestic violence. I wasn’t married to a man that beat me up, but my mother was.” She continued, “Knowing that she wanted nothing more for her little girls to see her be empowered and be a woman of strength, but having no way to make that happen was heartbreaking for me.”
“She stayed for too long and her children, my sister and I, saw far too much and I’ve suffered the damage of being a child of domestic violence,” she added. In one of her Instagram posts, she had admitted that her father was an alcohol addict and that robbed her family of all the happiness.
While the John Wick star went on to achieve a lot of success in life, nothing could deny the fact that she was damaged and broken inside. Her encounters with violence and lack of love as a child affected her own love life and she could never truly overcome it. “It seems like I’ve overcome it, but I really haven’t. In the quiet of my mind, I still struggle,” she said, as quoted by HuffPost.
After her third divorce, she opened up about her failed relationships and said that she felt like a “huge failure and huge disappointment” when her marriages fell apart. “[As] women, we go into marriage thinking it’s going to last forever and that this is our prince on a shiny horse. That’s what fairy tales taught me as a kid… and I’m kind of anti–fairy tales today,” Berry confessed at the 2017 City Summit and Gala in Los Angeles.
Berry was married to baseball player David Justice from 1992 to 1997, singer Eric Benét from 2001 to 2005, and Olivier Martinez from 2013 to 2015. She has also dated a few other men and she has a daughter, Nahla, with model Gabriel Aubry who she dated for two years.
“I’ve often felt guilty and responsible. I’ve suffered a lot of pain and anguish,” the Oscar winner confessed. But she also admits that she has learned to deal with failed marriages and how it becomes vital to let the negativity go when there are children involved.
Therefore, she has devoted her life to serving victims of domestic violence, which she calls one of the purposes of her life. This initiative of hers has also become a coping mechanism that helps her come to terms with her reality as well. HuffPost quoted her saying “I have an understanding, a knowing. I feel like I have something that I can impart to these women. It seems like I’ve overcome it, but I really haven’t. In the quiet of my mind, I still struggle. So while I’m helping these women, I’m helping myself through it, too. And that’s largely why I’m here.”
Berry believes that her experiences did pay off after all. Through her struggles and services, she has learned a lot about herself and gained a new perspective in life. “In every one of those situations, as hard — and sometimes embarrassing — as it was, I learned so much about myself,” she said. “Those relationships provided me with lessons that got me to where I am right now. For that, I’m grateful. But it has been hard. It’s been a difficult part of my life.”
And she hopes those lessons are being passed down to her kids. “I say lots of things, but I think what’s more important is that my children watch what I do,” she said. “I’m more mindful of how I live my life and what they see me do.”