After believing that you have your whole life ahead of you, your entire world comes to a standstill when you are told that your days are numbered. One man, who knew he wouldn’t survive his life-threatening disease, was heartbroken because he didn’t know how to tell the woman in his life that he is dying.
“I was recently brought up to speed on my condition and what the survival rate looks like for someone in my position (stage IV cancer, spread throughout),” he wrote on Reddit. “It’s next to 0, and I’m a realist so my days are numbered to just a handful of years at most in some of the best case scenarios.”
The man who said he’d been diagnosed with melanoma, had been in a relationship with a woman who had longed to spend a future with him. Knowing all that she’s been through, the last thing he wanted was to cause her any more pain. “I’ve been in a relationship with a woman who’s been through a tremendous amount of painful losses and setbacks recently in her life,” he went on to say.
“She’s made it clear that I’ve gotten her through some very rough patches and that imagining a life with me has made it easier for her to move past those events and consider a future for herself.”
Although he’s made peace with knowing his life may soon come to an end, he desperately wants to protect his partner from the impending loss. He wrote, “I don’t have many regrets in life and I consider myself very privileged to have seen the things I’ve seen, visited the places I’ve been, and loved the people I’ve loved. It sounds strange, but I’m kinda ready. The only thing that is breaking my heart is that I have no idea how to break this to the person who has attached her orbit to a dying star unknowingly.”
A number of people offered their support after reading the helpless man’s story. MsDmeanor commented saying, “I get how you’re feeling but you have to tell her something at some point. It’s going to hurt both of you but it needs to be done sooner than later. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed for any of us but if you know your days are numbered then give her a chance to make some of those beautiful plans of hers happen sooner than later.”
One Reddit user, who mentioned that they were a nurse, said, “you need to tell her and let her be as much apart of your care as she can be. If she can’t be there for you, it should still be her choice to ‘move on’ or not. You say she has gone through a lot and you helped her, if she can be there for you and give some of that back, that might help her too. If she loves you she will be more hurt and feel more betrayed if you don’t tell her or just walk away from her.”
As painful as it may be to tell your loved one that your time is limited, it could also promise the most memorable last days which could make a huge difference to the loved ones left behind, who will have loving memories to hold on to.
“Til your last breath on this earth, you are alive, you have energy flowing through your body and you can do so much, sharing your love, personality, and happiness to others, specially with your partner,” oximeu commented. “The sooner they know about it, the sooner you both can enjoy the most of this life together, making every silly and mundane moment special just because you are there, breathing the same air, living the same moment in time and loving each other. So don’t worry, it may be a shock at first but you’re both gonna be okay.”