“Relationships survive on trust, and if that is broken at any point, it’s pretty much the end of the relationship. Besides, inability to communicate leads to problems.” – Yuvraj Singh
A lot of people can tell when their relationship is over. There are plenty of tell-tale signs that predict that a relationship that had once been fulfilling for both partners is now not working for one or both. This usually means that the relationship is ready to end. There usually comes one specific point where people come to the realization that their relationship is as good as over.
This doesn’t always have to be a bad thing. If you stayed in every single relationship you’d ever been in, you wouldn’t be able to find the one person that is tailor made just for you. Sometimes, people become better friends once the relationship has ended.
Expert in divorce prediction and author of What Makes Love Last John Gottman, Ph.D., says, “People really disengage when a relationship is about to end.” Therefore, knowing the signs that signify it’s time to move on can make the transition from being in a relationship to not much easier.
HERE ARE EIGHT SIGNS YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS ABOUT TO END
1. YOUR BIGGEST SOURCE OF STRESS IS YOUR PARTNER
For most people, being around their significant other is a way to relieve stress. However, there may come a time where the thought of hanging out with them or going home to them only adds to the stress of the rest of your day. This is a sign that the relationship has run its course. Feeling stressed or obligated to spend time with your partner only hurts you both. When the relationship ends, you’ll both find that you’re much happier and able to move on.
2. YOU’RE NOT IN IT FOR THE LONG HAUL
When you picture your life in a few years, do you picture your partner by your side? And if you do, does it bring you joy, or dread? If the answer is the latter, you’re probably ready for the relationship to run its course.
Dr. John Gottman says, “When the we-ness is lost, partners often describe their history in a way that emphasizes how it affected them individually, rather than as a couple. They prioritize getting what they want and ignore their partner’s needs.”
It can be a scary experience to realize that the person that you’re with isn’t the person you want to be with forever, but once the truth comes out, it’ll be better for everyone involved, and cause a lot less resentment.
3. YOU’RE NOT TALKING AS MUCH AS YOU USED TO … AND YOU’RE FINE WITH IT
If you go a few days without talking to your significant other, not even a phone call or a text, and it doesn’t bother you one bit, it’s probably a sign that you’re not as invested as you once were. Going a day without talking can be normal, but most people in a relationship want to at least check in on their partners. If you’re not feeling that desire, you probably need to have a talk with your partner about whether or not they’re feeling the same way. If they are, it’s probably best to call it quits while you’re ahead.
4. YOU’RE HAPPIER ALONE
Introverts may often feel happiness when they’re alone, but even introverts enjoy spending time with their significant others. If you find that the minute you’re alone you feel euphoria or relief, it’s probably a sign that you’re not enjoying your partner’s attention and presence as much as you used to.
Certified health coach Isadora Baum states, “If you’re not seeing each other as often, by choice, or are even avoiding each other, it could mean you’ve lost interest and should end things. If you’re happy in your partnership, you probably want to be around your S.O. as much as possible. If you aren’t feeling it, it’s time to break up.”
You don’t want to be around them, and they deserve someone who does.
5. YOU THINK ABOUT BREAKING UP
If you have anxiety about breaking up because you really don’t want to, then it’s probably not a sign your relationship is doomed. However, if you find that the thought of ending the relationship seriously crosses your mind, that’s a sign itself that it’s probably time to let go. A relationship you want to be in forever is one where you don’t even entertain the notion of letting them go.
6. YOUR PARTNER THREATENS TO BREAK UP WITH YOU
This is usually used as a last-ditch effort to win or end an argument. If your partner uses this as a tool in an argument over something insignificant, it’s a sign that they’re not really as invested in the relationship as you are – and that they’re using it as leverage, holding themselves hostage to keep you in line.
As relationship coach Kira Asatryan states, “Having a constant, nagging feeling that he’s about to leave is a sign of relationship instability. But if you no longer believe he cares, you’ll be trapped waiting, anticipating the minor incident that blows it all up. Is that really any way to live?”
No, it’s not – it’s not healthy, and it’s best that you go ahead and call their bluff and end the relationship.
7. YOU’RE CONVENIENT FOR THEM
A sign that your relationship might as well be over is when you realize that your significant other only has you around because you’re there. That isn’t fun, and doesn’t build a long-lasting relationship. You deserve someone who wants you for you, not because you’re a convenient source of emotional or physical comfort.
8. THEY’RE CONTROLLING
A relationship should be two people coming together to form a partnership. However, sometimes we find ourselves being over-run by our significant others’ powerful personalities. When they start to control what we do, who we see and what we’re allowed to enjoy, it’s probably time to end the relationship. If you wake up one morning and don’t recognize yourself, it’s time to get out and figure out who you are again.
Ending a relationship can be hard, especially when you think back to all of the good times you had together. There comes a point where those good times don’t outweigh the bad. Ending a relationship can be anything from freeing yourself from a controlling situation, or simply transitioning from lovers back to friends. Relationships should be enjoyable, and ending them can be the best way to make them that way for many people.