Marriage is a gamble no matter how well you know the person you are getting married to. Even if you have been dating for years, it’s hard to tell how things might change after you tie the knot. Will he take the trash out when you ask him to? Will he wash the dishes? Will he do as many chores around the house as you? Or, will he expect you to pick up after him? When we are in love and in a relationship, we often forget to look at the big picture and talk about the important things that make a marriage work. For instance, does he recognize and subsequently apologize for his mistakes? Will he be supportive of your career? Does he care for your emotional well-being?
If you have been wondering about these things and have doubts if you married the right person, here are some signs that tell you that you have.
1. He’s the first person you go to when there’s bad news
Imagine you won a lottery, who would you tell first? Most people might pick their husband, wife, or partner. However, what if the news was that you got laid off from your job? That is an uncomfortable conversation and if your partner is still the first one you turn to, you are with the right person. You expect them to understand and accept you without judgment. You turn to them for advice and comfort at the same time.
2. You spend time doing things you both love
Your interests are just as important as his and he knows that. So, he puts in the time and effort to make sure that both of you do things you both like to do. If you like to do gardening, he sets aside time to help you pick the right plants and carry them back. If he likes to go hiking, he takes you along because he wants you a part of his life at every step of the way. While you have no problem giving space to each other, you enjoy each other’s company a lot more.
3. He is physically affectionate
He loves you and isn’t afraid of showing it. Even if he only shows affection when there’s nobody else around, he makes sure that you know he loves you. He surprises you with hugs out of the blue or wraps you in his arms from behind. He won’t let the romance die and makes you feel cared for. He might just be playing with your hair when you sit on the couch together but it makes you feel a lot better because his little gestures show you how close you are.
4. Your fights are productive
Like any other couple, you have disagreements from time to time but you don’t let that sour your relationship. The perfect relationship isn’t the one which has no fights; it’s the one where despite the fighting, you come to a solution that makes the relationship better. Instead of hurling insults at each other, both of you acknowledge what the problem is and together want to find an answer for it.
5. You make each other laugh
Humor is one of the cornerstones of your relationship. He makes an effort to make you laugh and so do you for him. You have similar values, which makes you both find similar things funny. He loves telling you about that funny thing that happened to him during his day because he knows you will find it funny as well. “Humor, laughter, and joy have a powerful effect on health and well-being,” John Thurman, a licensed marriage and family therapist, told Inc.com.
6. He doesn’t try to change you
He knows that you don’t like to take out the trash or folding the laundry, so he doesn’t try to change you. Instead, he complements you by doing the things you can’t, just like a team should work. He accepts you the way you are and even if there is something he would like you to work on, he doesn’t throw around ultimatums for you to follow. Instead, he tells you patiently about it and gives you time to adapt to the change. And, you want to willingly do it for him because of how great he is about it.