Narcissism has become so popular in the last few years. Before, no one outside psychology even knew that this personality disorder even existed.
Today, we all know everything about narcissistic traits, what narcissists do, and why they do it. In short, we’ve all become experts on the subject.
I’m not saying that we shouldn’t be aware of the existence of people suffering from this disorder, especially if they are surrounding us and influencing our lives.
But honestly, do you know what the chances are for that?
I’m telling you, the chances are very slim. I know I might be a bit harsh now, but isn’t it possible that you’re trying to play the blame game with your ex by accusing him of everything that went wrong?
Can’t you look inside yourself and be honest with yourself? You don’t have to do it with me or even your friend, but be honest with yourself.
Isn’t there at least one ounce of blame you are responsible for?
A lot of people go online in search of the reason why their relationship has ended. It would be the same if you went googling symptoms of your current health – it always ends up with the worst possible diagnosis.
According to Google, you should’ve already been dead.
It’s the same when you Google alleged symptoms of your alleged narcissistic boyfriend.
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You’ll find your boyfriend in every article written on the internet. You’ll blame him for everything he’s done to you. He’ll even become a “narcissist in disguise.”
Narcissism has become popular nowadays.
But, trust me, the chances of your boyfriend being a narcissist are close to none.
On the other hand, you can’t go around deciding who is a narcissist and who isn’t without a trained psychologist examining the person accused of suffering from that personality disorder.
According to some research, 1 percent of the human population has been seriously diagnosed with the narcissistic disorder.
So, your so-called narcissistic boyfriend is much more likely a manipulative asshole than a true narcissist. Or the case is not as serious as you present it to be.
However, here are the signs that will definitely sink your theories and prove that he is indeed not a narcissist:
1. What in fact if he’s really not a narcissist?
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Then you end up to be the crazy one. Don’t make false assumptions without solid proof.
In this case, that proof is a psychiatric evaluation. When you look at it, we all have that narcissistic side to us.
We all sometimes want to get revenge, we want to look sophisticated, and we’re definitely at least sometimes seeking attention.
We all want certain things and no one is a stranger to manipulation to get what they want. As if you never manipulated anyone? Be true to yourself!
Think about it, if you start accusing people of horrible things, you need to have proof first.
Otherwise, you’ll look like the insane one. So to avoid hurting yourself, don’t jump to conclusions.
2. It’s statistically impossible
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The internet is filled with articles about narcissistic boyfriends, how to recognize a narcissist, and how to heal from being broken by a narcissist.
While this is all useful information, statistically, the numbers don’t add up. It’s impossible to have that many people suffering from narcissistic personality disorder.
3. Accusing someone of wrongdoing is tempting
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It’s really tempting putting guilt on a person who has hurt you.
It’s very easy to give in to the emotions of revenge and hatred without thinking about what your part is in the deal.
So, what most of us do is we blame someone else completely for everything that’s happened.
That way it’s so much easier to live and come to terms with the fact that the relationship is over.
Rarely anyone takes real responsibility for their own mistakes.
4. Narcissism is not black and white
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We all possess certain narcissistic characteristics. The question is who the furthest is in spectrum of narcissism.
In other words, it’s important to know who’s bad enough to be a narcissist.
No one is all good or all bad. We are all a mix of both. What matters in the end is what you decide to do in the end and what your conscience tells you.
5. NPD has been considered untreatable
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That’s the perfect excuse for you. Once again, we get back to you and your lack of responsibility for your own mistakes.
By saying the person who hurt you is beyond help, that’s a perfect excuse for not even trying and, of course, making yourself look blameless.
6. Empaths attract narcissists
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This is the last resort for once again, avoiding taking responsibility.
Don’t get me wrong, but there are indeed women out there who label themselves as empaths, which automatically means they are narcissist’s potential victims.
This absolves them of all the guilt. On the other hand, faking to be an empath seriously makes it even more difficult for women who are truly like that. It also makes it more difficult for women who have indeed been in a relationship with a narcissist.
In the end…
If your ex really turns out to be a narcissist – because as I’ve already said, it’s possible, they do exist – by talking about them, you’re only giving them attention. That is exactly what narcissists need to feed their ego and continue acting the way they do.
Attention is like the air they breathe.
The smartest move you can make is to deprive them of that attention.
Stop talking about them and make them as insignificant as possible. That is the only way to break free from a narcissist and stop being their supply.
That is how you survive a true narcissist.