Ways you can keep your relationship together.
Relationships, no matter how strong, are brittle. Sometimes the times get rough and it hits us hard.
And in those hard moments, what we need is someone who clutch to our hands tight, someone who will be there with you through the storms of life.
Falling head over heels for someone takes a minute or less and that is easy, what is difficult is staying in love, the commitment to forever be with them.
When times aren’t easy we tend to become selfish, as they say when the chips are down, nothing works I your favor.
Even in the strongest relationships, there will be difficulties and problem at some time, it’s just the question of when. We cannot avoid that but when the ball is in our court it’s we who decide how to play it. So preparation in advance can save a lot of emotional disasters.
When the chips are down, don’t let the situation take control of you. You need to patient and understand that times are hard for both of you, let yourself in your partner’s shoe and try to see what they see. Treat them like you would want to be treated in these moments.
It’s easier said than done, but if that love means anything to us we need to put on the efforts to save it. When times are hard, when one partner loses his job or there is some grief in the family, when things are falling apart, it’s really difficult to hold on. Nevertheless, we need to.
How to hold on when your love is falling apart?
1. Effective Communication
In any relationship communication is the key, key to both enter and exit the door. You must communicate effectively to save your ship from sinking during the storms of life which have your relationship in the hold.
Communication requires attention and efforts, there are few things we need to keep in mind while communicating if we are to hold on and not let our relationship fall apart
Listen to what your partner has to say, ignore their tone and expression. They are going through hard times and are in turmoil of fear, anger and a lot of other vices and virtues. Listen to their cry of help behind the loud voices, maybe they are seeking for appreciation.
Listen to understand what they have to say, they might even ask you a question but they don’t really need an answer, they need you to understand them, the situation they are going through.
You don’t need to counter or defend, just listen to them and when they are done, you can take your turn. Be respectful while they talk, listen to them with attention and ask questions to clarify things.
2. Be realistic when the time calls
I prefer to be hopeless romantic over being a realist in any normal circumstances but when the winds are rough and time is really tough we need to see the world with realistic lenses.
At difficult times your partner cannot fulfill their responsibility, there may be financial instability or physical illness. In times like this, you need to be together and divide the responsibilities.
The times are hard and have changed but remember the love you once had for each other is still the same. Keep holding on to it and don’t let the hard times tear it down.
3. Forgive without an apology and be patient
Difficult times in a relationship are a test of the strength of the relationship. it can be the catalyst to strengthen the relationship or the venom that slowly drown your relationship in darkness.
Be patience when your partner is going through hard times, instead of getting offended try to understand their situation. Anger and resentment will wreck your ship and in those difficult times, that can be the final nail in the coffin.
Don’t focus on the negative things, let go of it trying to understand the situation and move on holding their hand tight. Shine bright in the darkness
Don’t let the darkness of the difficult times take over you. Let your humor and compassion shine brightly. It’s difficult but let your sense of humor still have its place.
Your mood also affects your partner’s mood, be positive and hold on to the light that shines at the distance. Letting yourself drown in darkness will take you apart from your partner. Keep the romance alive
When times are hard and everything seems gloomy, we feel foul and loathsome and that is the time we need love the most. Don’t let the thoughts of betrayal and dishonesty plague your mind.
When in difficult times you start making scenarios in your head which don’t exist and still breaks you. You just need to put in efforts to feel your partner loved. Let them know you still love them with the same passion, let them know you still care.
4. Accept the differences and compromise
When one partner is in the deep abyss, the relationship seems to fail as the other partner gives in the darkness offered by difficult times.
When times are hard the small differences that didn’t matter at all suddenly finds a ground to hinder your relationship.
Your partner didn’t call this upon himself to make your dreams shatter, he didn’t ask for it.
He is going through pain and is suffering just like you.
In this moment you need to lift him up and hold him not push him down. You need to compromise on few things, this is the time you put your priorities in correct order.
Your love for your partner needs to be proven in these times if you love him for what he is or you just love the idea of who he is or can be.