When you’re going through a painful breakup, your number one wish is to get back on your feet and to continue with your life as soon as possible.
You want to forget everything that has happened, erase all of your painful memories, pick yourself up, and make your broken heart whole again.
And that’s perfectly normal. After all, who enjoys being overwhelmed by sadness and having their life put on standby?
Your desire to move on is actually a good thing – it means you still have hope for a better tomorrow and optimism to go back to your old self.
However, it’s dangerous to believe that things will be fixed and you’ll recover overnight.
Moving on too quickly and trying to do it without healing first can cause you more harm than good.
In fact, here are the most common consequences this can bring.
1. You complicate your life by jumping into a rebound relationship…
woman by the river
The number one mistake most people do right after they go through a painful breakup is jump into a new relationship too soon.
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Yes, there are situations in which replacing your former romantic partner with someone new is the best remedy for your crushed heart and sometimes it can be the most effective way to get over your ex.
However, in most cases, people only deceive themselves, thinking they’re completely ready to step into a new relationship, when they’re actually nowhere near it.
In fact, this kind of arrangement can only complicate your life further on and this is the last thing you need at this point – you already have too much weight on your back.
As long as you don’t care who your new boyfriend will be and are only concerned with getting yourself involved in a fresh relationship, it’s more than an obvious sign that you’re not in a search of a new love – you’re looking for a rebound.
Before you know it, you’ll find yourself in a situationship you haven’t thought through and have trouble getting out of.
Instead of putting your entire focus on making yourself feel better and getting over your ex, whether you like it or not, you’ll simply have to invest some energy in your new relationship.
This relationship can’t have a future because it isn’t built on a healthy foundation, which means a breakup is inevitable.
And is that something you really need right now?
2. …which can be toxic
woman with a hoodie
However, what’s even worse than getting yourself involved in a rebound relationship that has no future is the fact that you lower your standards when you’re trying to move on too quickly.
You want to find a new partner at all costs and the only thing that matters to you is not to be alone, which can never bring anything good to your life.
This way, you can easily find someone who’ll take advantage of your vulnerabilities and deepen your emotional wounds even more.
You can find yourself stuck with a man who’s wrong for you in more ways than one, but you’ll fail to see that in time because your desire to move on right away has blindsighted you.
Also, the emotional baggage you carry into this relationship makes it toxic.
You can never give your entire heart to this new person if you still have feelings for your ex. You can’t give him your trust if you still have issues from your past.
You can’t give him your undivided attention if your thoughts are elsewhere. You can’t give him your entire self if parts of you are still trapped in the past.
Besides, this kind of arrangement is unfair towards your new boyfriend, who doesn’t have a clue what he’s facing but has to deal with your emotional baggage.
You’re leading him on and by doing so, you’re becoming just like your ex.
3. You try healing in all the wrong ways…
woman on the leafs
The worst consequence of trying to move on in an unhealthy way lies in all the things you actually do while you’re subconsciously trying to heal.
You engage in meaningless affairs, one night stands, in potentially dangerous sexual behavior… Not only that – there are some people who get themselves involved with drugs or other addictions.
You might think that piling on the work or hitting the gym can’t be bad, but that’s also a form of destructive behavior if you overdo it and do it for all the wrong reasons.
Keeping yourself busy during the healing process is the number one advice all dating experts will give you, but you also have to spare some time to process your feelings instead of just running away from them.
It’s clear that you’re trying to repress your emotions and act like they don’t exist. And we both know that’s never a solution.
In fact, this type of behavior can bring you more long term damage than you might think, potentially causing serious depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues.
4. …but your pain gets to you sooner or later
woman by the window
What everyone moving on without healing forgets is that you can’t expect the pain and the emotional baggage to magically disappear just because you decided to pretend it’s not there.
You won’t erase them by burying them – in fact, you’re just digging them deeper and with time, they’ll become a part of you and start defining you as a person.
Nevertheless, the point is that all of these issues and feelings will reappear on the surface when you least expect them to, after you think they’re long gone.
One day, they’ll hit you out of nowhere and you won’t know what happened.
The worst thing is that negative emotions snowball over time if you ignore them.
Basically, the pain that’ll catch up to you in the future will be much more intense than it is now.
Sooner or later, your past demons will come knocking on your door to remind you of the things you owe them – to destroy the happiness it took you so long to build.
And when that happens, they’ll be so strong and so close that there’ll be no point in trying to escape them.
In a nutshell, there’s no need for you to play all tough because repressing your emotions actually only makes you a coward.
Instead, dealing with them in time and doing things the healthy way, one step at a time, is what makes you a mature, strong person.