Love and romance are beautiful things. But in a long-term relationship, love alone isn’t enough to ensure a healthy, balanced, happy partnership. That’s why, sometimes, someone can be deeply in love but still choose to break up with their romantic partner.
It’s truly heartbreaking when this happens. What makes it even sadder is that, usually, the reasons behind a decision like this could have been prevented. These things are often subtle but alarmingly significant.
In many cases, it is these things that make all the difference between The One and someone who is just a temporary partner. Here are some reasons women leave their relationship, even when they’re in love.
10 REASONS WOMEN LEAVE THEIR RELATIONSHIP EVEN WHEN THEY’RE IN LOVE
1. A LACK OF PRESENCE
When you’re in a relationship with someone, you want to be with them. You want to spend time with them. You want to take comfort in each other’s presence, enjoy meals and dates, and just be next to each other. But sometimes, a partner has every excuse as to why they aren’t present enough.
They might spend all their time with friends.
They might work late nights 90% of the time.
Their free time may be entirely occupied with hobbies.
All that leaves their partner shoved in a corner, the bottom of their priority list – or, at least, nowhere near the top. The saddest part is that people who do this are often good people who are not acting this way out of malice.
Justice Schanfarber, a well-known marriage counselor, states that this happens to even the best of people. But those who do this are taking their girlfriend or wife for granted, and that never bodes well for any relationship.
2. FEELING ALONE AND UNACKNOWLEDGED
Everyone wants to feel like they matter, even just to the most important people in their lives. If a woman is alone without her partner to support her, she may wonder if she’s important at all to them and decide to move on.
This means that when the woman in your life talks about her problems, you shouldn’t dismiss them or tell her she needs to relax. When she discusses something she’s excited or passionate about, you shouldn’t just nod and look back at your phone in the next two seconds. When she talks about plans for the future or an idea she has, you shouldn’t dismiss it or say it’s ridiculous.
The loneliness that comes with being with a partner who refuses to participate in or acknowledge anything is painful. It can make a woman feel worthless – something she will one day realize she doesn’t deserve.
We all have our moments of insecurity, and there’s nothing wrong with some dashes of it. Talking about insecurities with your partner is a great way to grow closer to each other. But when that insecurity overshadows everything in your relationship, it could push a woman to leave.
Insecurity breeds jealousy, and jealousy breeds controlling behavior. One day, she has to beg for your permission to spend a night out with the girls. The next, she’ll find her text messages, calls, and every action being monitored.
Everyone struggles with insecurity, but it is something that must be worked on.
It isn’t something that should be allowed to consume one’s every action.
If you find yourself feeling overly jealous or not trusting the woman in your life, question why that is.
Don’t treat her like she cannot be trusted just because you have some issues to work through.
4. THE PASSION HAS DIED (ESPECIALLY IN THE BEDROOM)
Intimacy may not be a key factor in all relationships, but it definitely is in most of them. In fact, regular intimacy is crucial to positive relationship happiness and health in most allosexual relationships. But boring, routine intimate moments are no fun at all. It has to be passionate, at least to some degree!
Of course, intimacy must be consensual, so no one should force themselves to have intimate moments with their partner just to keep them around. But a woman (and anyone else) is entitled to leave if they are not intimately satisfied in a relationship – and she just might.
Keep in mind that passion isn’t just about intimacy, though. It’s about a connection, it’s about togetherness, and it’s an assurance that a woman is still attractive in her partner’s eyes. Compliments, trying out new things together (both in and out of the bedroom), and having fun with each other are all areas of passion that may be accidentally ignored.
Nobody enjoys being compared to someone else – especially if it’s an unfavorable comparison. This is even worse when you do it to your partner, the person you’re supposed to love and cherish above anyone else.
If a partner compares the woman in their life to anyone – to their ex, to a random stranger, to a family member, to a friend, to a colleague – they’re just asking for trouble. No one wants to feel like they’re in the shadow of someone else.
Constant comparisons can be so damaging on one’s self-esteem that they count as emotional abuse. A woman who is aware of her worth will not stand by and tolerate it for very long – and if she does, she’s become a victim of emotional manipulation and abuse.
Comparisons make anyone feel unappreciated, unattractive, unintelligent, and a whole bunch of other negative feelings. As a general rule, someone who makes it a habit to compare a girlfriend or wife to others isn’t worth dating.
6. ALWAYS GIVING, NEVER RECEIVING
In this day and age, what women want is an equal partner, someone who shares 50% of the load and gives as good as they get. A healthy relationship is a two-way street. There is no relationship in the world that can function properly when one party always gives and the other always receives.
Back in the “old days,” it was expected for women to do all the chores while their husband worked hard to earn money. Today, it’s an even split. Both men and women are likely to work, and as such, both need to have a hand in household chores.
But this doesn’t just apply to housework. It applies to everything.
Does the woman in your life always have to be the one to take time off work for events?
Does she buy loads of gifts for you and rarely receive any?
Is she always giving intimately and not receiving nearly as often?
These imbalances are more than enough to make any woman leave their relationship, even when they’re in love.
7. EMOTIONAL UNAVAILABILITY
Emotional availability is often overlooked in relationships, but they are crucial to its longevity. Someone who steers away from emotional vulnerability and detaches themselves from everything around them is a cool movie trope archetype – but it doesn’t work in real life.
A woman wants her partner to be emotionally available. She wants to be aware of her partner’s wants and desires. If women feel like they’re dating a robot, there isn’t much point in them sticking around.
This is especially true if that woman’s significant other has a tendency to be cold and uncaring. This can cause her to feel unappreciated and unimportant, as well as just plain uninteresting to her partner. At that point, her only option is to move on.
8. LIES, SECRECY, AND LACK OF COMMUNICATION
Anyone seeking to be in a long-term relationship should know that lies and secrecy need to be excluded from the table. Lying and secrecy can lead to tension and strain in any partnership, and it can ruin a woman’s trust in her partner entirely.
Healthy relationships involve communication and honesty. Without these components, a romance is doomed to fail from the start. After all, what reason is there to keep so many secrets and tell so many lies? What does that person have to hide?
Some people make the mistake of lying to their partners to make them feel better. For example, they may lie and say the woman they are texting is an old friend, even when it’s an ex-girlfriend, to avoid their partner becoming upset even if there’s nothing fishy going on. Or, someone might pretend they are okay with something when they really aren’t.
Lies form a tangled web that you’re bound to get stuck in. Instead of telling these dangerous half-truths, opt for positive, open communication instead. A healthy relationship needs that to survive – if not, the woman is going to walk.
There’s nothing wrong with being young at heart. But immaturity can become dangerous. A woman may leave if her partner:
Has no life goals
Does not know what they want
Cannot prioritize practicality over random desires
Does not know how to save money
Cannot perform standard adult tasks
Is often very impulsive
Cannot be relied on at all
A woman – and anyone in a relationship – needs to be able to rely on their significant other. If there’s a chance that partner could quit their job and risk their future on a whim, the relationship might not feel safe for her.
If that partner is terrible at doing adult tasks, she may leave because she does not want to be a mother to her own partner. If that partner doesn’t know what they want at all, planning a future together becomes impossible. If that partner takes nothing seriously, they may not take the relationship seriously, either.
Change is inevitable and unavoidable. Sometimes, sadly, it causes relationships to end – and this is the one thing you can’t do much about.
A woman may leave her relationship if she feels she and her partner have grown into completely different people. She may no longer recognize the person she fell in love with. Or, she may no longer agree with his ideals, or her life may be heading in a different direction than his.
These are all common reasons a woman may leave someone she is in love with. Positive thinking can only get one so far before they realize that things are just not the same anymore.
Sometimes, change is for the best, and partners grow apart.
But if you’re seeking to avoid this happening, make sure communication is always open between you.
Discuss possible life changes, goal shifts, or personality changes that you see.
Couples can grow together – but they have to put in the effort.
FINAL THOUGHTS ON WHY WOMEN LEAVE THEIR RELATIONSHIP EVEN WHEN THEY’RE IN LOVE
Sometimes, relationships just don’t work out. Life goals may change, people may evolve, and ideals may clash. In those cases, the best one can do is hold their head high, practice positive thinking, and let themselves heal over time.
But in others, sometimes the one thing missing from the relationship is so easily filled and preventable, but something a partner does not take into consideration enough. The reasons we’ve listed are crucial from both members of a relationship in order to keep it healthy.
Whether you’re a man or a woman, and regardless of what gender your partner is, you are all entitled to respectful, compassionate treatment from your significant other. If your partner is making these 10 mistakes, communicate with them and work on bettering the relationship. If you’re the one making them, it’s time to step up your game!